Who can say they haven’t had deal with a lack of confidence at some point in their lives? Even if I am reasonably sure about myself in many aspects, there’s always the issue of self-importance, rather. Is it worth expressing my ideas in any format, at all? Does anyone care about my point of view? To be honest, I haven’t always found a positive and reassuring answer to this. Perhaps it’s because I am often too impractical, or at least express myself in such a way… Dunno.
So, writing a blog on a regular basis is a problem, see?
I am not the kind of person that needs to write down their thoughts or confess their impressions. I can usually remember myself and correlate the contents of my mind well enough without written aid. (Of course, complex new ideas, epiphanies, and stuff like that require noting down–they’re strange and unfamiliar things that bare analysis after-the fact.)
But writing for an audience? I hate the metrics this site provides because they show visits all-too-well. When “the numbers are low” you’re unpopular and missing something. When they’re picking up, you wonder who they are, what they think, and how you could make things better. Sales. It turns into a product you must carefully manufacture, test with prospective consumers, and then advertise. WHY???
So, how do I continue to express my emerging world-view when there’s a million reasons to do otherwise? To keep it bottled up inside my mind, like I’ve always done, and only rarely let it out? Maybe that’s what I should explore with tonight’s full moon...